In this holiday season, like most people, I’ve been spending a lot of time in the kitchen. Since I’m super poor, I’m trying not to buy a lot of presents for people this year. I have had many ideas of things I was going to make people. If you remember a previous blog entry, I once attempted to knit everyone something and that ended in disaster. I thought, “hey, this year I’ll make people food they can’t resist!” So far this has been a bit of a disaster as well.

My first gift idea – HOMEMADE GOAT CHEESE.

HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!?!?!? I KNOW I WOULD BE PSYCHED TO RECEIVE SUCH AN AWESOME GIFT. GOAT CHEESE IS BEST GIFT EVER.

Sorry for all the caps, but I really like cheese. This is where Martha comes in.

I’ve long been a big fan of Martha Stewart. I think it all started with my beloved Blueprints magazines that MSLO published. Getting each issue was like Christmas in my mailbox. I actually think I’ve blogged in my past about how much I love and miss Blueprints. Sadly, the magazine folded, and in exchange, I started receiving Martha Stewart Living. I wasn’t expecting to like the magazine as I thought it would be too unattainable. Boy, I was wrong. Yes, there are long sections about pruning my topiaries and collecting my own eggs that my own chickens lay, but actually it’s very useful.

About a month ago, she did an entire episode all on cheese.  I dvr her show everyday and watch it as I get ready in the morning.  With the cheese episode, I saved it and watched it on a Friday night, as to not miss a thing. Well, she shows us how to make goat cheese, and it’s so simple and so awesome.

anyway…

MARTHA LIES

I’ve now tried to make goat cheese twice. I go to Fresh Market and buy a container of goats milk and fresh herbs to jazz it up. I even convinced my mom to buy me a food thermometer for my birthday.

It starts by heating the milk to 180 degrees. Then you add lemon juice which serves as the acid to separate the curds and weigh. After that, you separate the curds and weigh with a cheese clothe and sieve. You let it sit, then add salt and your herbs and VIOLA.

Well, here’s how mine went. Heated the milk, added the lemon juice… NOTHING

Next weekend – go to the store, buy more milk and herbs. Heated the milk, let the milk cool to room temperature, added the lemon juice… NOTHING.

Each time I try and cheese clothe to no avail.

So sorry family and friends, no one will be receiving the great gift of cheese this Christmas. Martha tricked me in making it look so easy, like anyone could do it.

I’ll keep researching, I won’t give up on you cheese!

But rest assured, I have had some success in the kitchen as of late, but it’s mostly boring stuff like cookies that no one really cares to read about.