Since everyone enjoyed my bicycle humiliation story so much, I thought that I would share my most recent humiliation.
I have found that O’malia’s Grocery is the place to be after work. It is full of young professionals. Everyone is carrying their canvas bags, listening to their ipods, and wearing their trendy professional garb. It’s a pretty enjoyable experience all around.
Today I had to pick up a few things for a dinner on Thursday. I was cruising down the dairy aisle smiling at the cute guy while picking out cheese. I’m then heading to the vegetable row. I decide to take the canned bean aisle to get there.
Oh no, there’s another shopper occupying the row. This is probably a good time to note that O’Malia’s has these new crazy carts. See picture below to fully understand.
Note how the bottom is larger than the top.
Well, I’m trying to avoid hitting the other aisle occupant. In doing so, I crash the bottom of my cart into a Baco Display.
Bacos go flying.
Me: “Oh Crap.”
Aisle occupant on cell phone: “I’m going to have to call you back, some girl just knocked over a display and needs some help.”
Luckily the Bacos came in a plastic container. With the help of cell phone girl, I got them all put back where they belong.
Now, one would expect me to be all embarrassed by the incident. Too bad this is all too frequent occurrence for me. Ok, so maybe I haven’t exactly dumped a display of Bacos before, but I do embarrass myself a lot.
Here’s another example of my grace and elegance. The YMCA has a wall of treadmills that face out onto the street. I’m rocking out on the treadmill. I’m “running” (and by running I mean panting and hyperventilating) with my ipod tuned to Work Out Mix. Kelly Clarkson’s Since You’ve Been Gone has my arms pumping. On one such arm swing, my arm crosses my headphone cord. This sends my ipod all the way across the room. Lucky for me THERE ARE people on the treadmill next to me so this doesn’t go unnoticed. This completely frazzles me. I can’t figure out what to do. The belt is still spinning at 6 level.
Just imagine me flailing on the treadmill. I’m trying to turn around and locate my ipod. FINALLY, I get it together enough to press the STOP button. I slide off the back of the treadmill. I know that sounds gracefull, but trust me it wasn’t. It was more like a 3 Stooges skit.
My ipod landed next to stationary bike some else is riding. I can’t get my hand under the peddles. The guy won’t stop peddling so I could safely grab it. Finally, like the ninja I am, my cat like hands grab it. I decide my work out is done and out the door I go.
Such is life as Bess.
Bess, I love your life. For 2 reasons:
1) It’s hilarious
2) It reminds me of my life.
I have humiliated myself many times in O’Malia’s by running into other adults, small children, and the display of doggie bakery treats (you know, by the sushi). Fortunately I have never knocked anything down but I now I have something to shoot for.
Also, I think I probably chuck my ipod across the cardio room at the Y, on average, 2-3 times per week. That number skyrockets on days I actually use the treadmills. It is also one of the main reasons why I choose to stay safely in the back row on the ellipticals. The bright spot, however, is that this number is way down from my first ipod days (back in Philly) when I only had a clip instead of an arm band. That ipod had a short, rough life.