In the past week I have managed to make myself sick.  I mean completely physically sick.  I have never in my entire life not had an appetite.  It didn’t matter if I had the stomach flu or was watching Discovery Channel surgeries on tv – I’m ALWAYS a little bit hungry… until this week.  I had to force myself to eat some sushi for lunch.

I’ll pause for you all to pick your jaw up off the floor.

These were all symptoms of me becoming a big girl.  I am officially a grown up.  A grown up that can’t  turn back.

I’m buying a house.

yep.

It all started a few weeks – or 25 years ago depending on what version of the story you want to hear.

My dad is in commercial real estate, and for a good chunk of my childhood I had no idea what he did.  To be honest, some of it is still a bit hazy.  Because of Dad’s career, I’ve heard a million times the value of owning property.  I’ve heard about how it’s an investment and can pay off in the end.  It all made sense until I was old enough to really understand what owning property entailed.  It might be smart but I never thought I’d be able to do it.

About a month or so ago I started thinking about my own house.  I knew the market was starting to pick back up and it was a now or never moment.  And there are only till April 15th for that bomb diggity tax credit.  I started browsing real estate websites.  I’ve done this for years just because I’m curious what houses look like on the inside.  I started just looking at one place and there.  I started talking to Dad and Adam (who is also in real estate) about it.  The more I started looking the more confused I became.  What the hell is a FHA or  principal and interest?  I’M A COMMUNICATIONS MAJOR.  I WROTE A PAPER ON ANCHORMAN ONCE.

Two weeks ago Dad set up a few showings.  After looking at the ones we had set up the realtor suggested we look at one more property and we agreed to humor him.  It was in a neighborhood that wasn’t on my list.  It was close proximity wise but is still up and coming and my mom was not ok with that.  We walked into the house and it was instant.  It was like the house read my mind.  It perfectly suited me.  It was completely redone with new appliances and everything.  I was in love.  It’s a historical home but with an oven that cooks evenly… JACK POT.  The next few days I kept sending my parents articles on the neighborhood and how great it was.

Once we were all on board I had to decide if I was willing to take the leap.  I had NO IDEA had to make that kind of decision.   Early one Saturday morning, I parked my car in front of the house and for a good 15 mins or more just sat and prayed, “Lord help me. Lord help me.  Lord help me.”  I didn’t even know what else to articulate.

Finally I just did it.  There was an offer, there was a counter, there was an acceptance.  The entire process from seeing it to accepting took 1 week.  It was the 5th place I looked at.   It’s been so fast.

Once it happened, I shut down.  It wasn’t until yesterday or even today that I’m dealing with it. I couldn’t get overwhelmed or excited or anything.   Cue the sickness.  I’ve never felt myself do that before.  I knew I was causing it, but I couldn’t get past it.  Finally, I started talking about the house.  Letting it be ok to be a little terrified as I  signed the millions of pages with interests rates and numbers on it.

It was like magic. I felt the nausea start to go away.  I was happy to eat my Jimmy Johns for lunch today.  I think my long hot bath didn’t hurt either last night.

I also changed the back ground on my computer to be this:

I mean how awesome is Gloria Steinem in this pic?  I’m using it as my inspiration.  I can be a young unmarried woman and own a house.  I don’t need to wait for a man for me to make smart financial decisions.  TAKE THAT!

So, I think I’m still a little sick over the entire situation.  I mean there’s a lot to think about and deal with.  But I am incredibly thankful to know I have a support system.  I feel amazingly blessed to have had my Dad and brother help me out.  I had to, and happily trusted them 100%.

If all works out I’ll closing on May 27th.  You all are invited to come and help me weather protect (that’s a thing right?) the deck on the back.