Monthly Archives: February 2009

My teeth: A Tale of Conspiracy

Posted on by

5

My teeth are conspiring against me in only a way John Grisham could commit to paper.

conspiracy_theory

Never mind. I was way off. Pelican Brief was written by Grisham. conspiracy Theory was just a movie…. ANYWAY.

I went to my new dentist today. I’ve been feeling my wisdom break through my gums and impose on my once perfectly aligned mouth. Since I kept canceling my apt in Shelbyville because I couldn’t make it down during work, I decided to take up Jenn and Brooke’s recommendation and see their wonderful dentist (Dr. Princell – and tell him I referred you – I’ll get a discount). Well they are all delightful at Dr. Princell’s office. Very friendly, thorough, and great at explaining what’s going on in there.

Here’s the crazy thing. They have a computer screen in front of your chair where they take all sorts of CRAZY pictures! I’ve never seen my teeth so close before. I also had some xrays done where I can now see the crazy angle my wisdom teeth are living in. No wonder I feel pressure. Seriously, though. You should have a dentist computer screen. I guarantee my dental hygiene will improve exponentially because I got to see all my teeth so close.

The bad news is that I am suffering from some sort of Paradontalrwioeruworwjsfnslfurowig. That means that my gums have deep pockets and they are pulling away from the teeth. If it escalates, I could have a heart attack, or so the literature told me.

I also need to get all four of my impacted wisdom teeth removed surgically. YEAH!!! I can’t wait to only drink smoothies and look like a chipmunk. Here is a mock up of my wisdom teeth x ray I made.

wisdom-teeth2I’m getting so good at using Paint.  I’m really impressing myself here.

eeeekkk. I would like to get that all taken care of. Unfortunately, BESS IS PO!!! Like REALLY PO.

But I can at least feel good about helping boost this economy with the thousands of dollars I’ll be giving the dentist and oral surgeon for the mess of crap going on in my mouth.

So, when that trickle down effect finally gets back to you, rest assured it’s because I have bad gums and crazy wisdom teeth.

Bess in Fractions

Posted on by

4

Yesterday, when I posted my Gilmore Girl snow clip, mom noticed that I have absorbed Lorelei Gilmore into my person and I realized that it is so (SCORE!).  I also  realized that much of myself is made up of the girls I watch on screen.   See chart below. I am 1 part Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables fame.

anne2

I have actually read all the Anne of Green Gables book, but she is so wonderfully depicted in the movie (or miniseries?  tv series?).  I think she has to do with my flair for the dramatic.  I too would request of my new adopted family that they make me a dress for school with puff sleeves because puff sleeves are romantic.   That girl has spunk and she’s really smart which is pretty awesome for a Victorian English Canadian!

I am one part Lorelei Gilmore.  I am Lorelei mainly because that is a goal I strive for everyday.

lorelai

Lorelei is so cool and pretty and hip.  I love that she knows her cultural references.  You need a pop culture dictionary just to hang around her.  Those who hang around me know that I relate most things in real life back to things I’ve seen in pop culture (such as snow I immediately equate to Gilmore Girls).  Lorelei is also a strong female who set her sights on doing something and she does it.  She uses her loquaciousness to get what she wants.  I do that too (it works very well on mom).

I am two parts Liz Lemon.

15346__fey_l1

I picked this picture because it is Liz Lemon, not Tina Fey. Tina goes to fancy award shows and has her own American Express commercial.  Liz Lemon wears a Dark Sensations tshirt.  Liz Lemon has lettuce in her hair and wears socks to the beach.  Liz drinks wine and walks SLOWLY on her treadmill.  I unfortunately reflect that part of her.  I wish I could say I’m like Liz because I’ve worked my way to the top of a male dominated industry, or that I’ve committed myself fully to my job, or even that I live in New York.

Nope – I’m just Dark Sensations Liz.

I am one half part Superbad boys.

superbad_ho

Mainly because I am a little bit of a high school boy.  I love Mountain Dew and Taco Bell.  I think video games are awesome and more specifically I love Superbad and Pineapple Express.  I blame my high school guy friends for this.  They turned me into that type of girl.

I wish I had photoshop. If I did, this image would be much cooler. Instead I doctored it in paint so it looks pretty jank. But I’ll choose to think of it as ironic.

parts-of-bess